Managing the uncertainty of having a loved one sick

The red traffic light, low sales but the worst thing is that more often I hear friends tell me that they have a sick loved one and their health situation is delicate.

Dealing with uncertainty is exhausting.

I share some ideas that I have learned from the science of happiness approach and that can help you strengthen your ability to face it.

These resources helped me when I cared for my mom while she was in the hospital. She was intubated for 21 days and the prognosis for her recovery was absolutely uncertain.

Those days were a roller coaster of emotions and I confess that the most exasperating thing was not knowing if my position should be to cling to hope and optimism with the illusion that I would recover, or perhaps the best thing was to say goodbye and resign myself to leaving.

If you are going through something like this, maybe these three ideas can help you:

Enjoy the positive micro moments

Although it sounds crazy, give yourself permission to appreciate and enjoy moments. I mean, even in difficult circumstances, good things happen to you every day.

For example: the manager of the hospital cafeteria is friendly and makes you feel good or you stop to contemplate a beautiful sky, or when you get home your dog receives you with absolute love and joy when you see you.

Just being aware of these moments takes your attention away from the feeling of helplessness and shows you that you are able to see your day in a less overwhelming perspective.

Avoid catastrophic fantasies and overthinking

When the brain is not in focus, it tends to wander and more often than not, it focuses on catastrophic futures.

At the time my mother was in the hospital, a relative was required to be permanently standing guard next to her. Because of the condition she had, they told us that she could be intubated for weeks or months. My catastrophic mind visualized that it could even be years and I was filled with fear when I thought if financially I could face something like that.

Years ago he had learned Mindfulness: a valuable tool for positive stress management. Mindfulness is a technique that helps the mind to be mindful in the present moment. It helped me a lot not to get stuck in feelings of guilt towards the past for not having made my business work without me, and also to manage my anguish for the future and the zero profitability that I would have by not being able to attend my business due to being in the care my mother.

I remember that in those days it helped me to focus only on how to solve the challenges that were to be solved that day … no more.

If you avoid thinking more than necessary, you will be able to protect yourself from the catastrophic futures that the mind makes. Mindfulness or some other meditation technique can help you a lot to have mental calm even in adverse moments.