Touch the top and collapse. That’s the stark summary of the career of a number 1 who couldn’t win a Grand Slam or withstand the pressure of being at the height of a world sport. Dinara Safina She became the best player in the world, and that was her personal prison, her dark room, never refuge or prize. This is how the 33-year-old Russian tells it in the pages of the Guardian. Dinara does not save anything in a talk in which she reviews the most disheartening part of reaching the top and not being able to enjoy a single second.

– Dinara tells how the reality of what was previously dreamed was. A very different one.

“If I could start my career from the beginning, maybe I would play tennis again, but I don’t feel like going back to the circuit. It is something very profound. I think tennis disappointed me in some way, because I dreamed that I was once famous and If you were world number 1, you would have a different life. But once you achieve this, and you realize that it’s not what you’ve been dreaming about, then all your dreams fall apart. “

– The Russian realized that she could not control what she felt in order to enjoy herself.

“I couldn’t handle my emotions, and for that reason it was difficult. I always had the dream of being famous, being number 1 and all this, but suddenly I felt too much pressure to be there. I didn’t expect to have this pressure. I thought I was going to be fun: you are famous, you become number 1. And you are happy. In fact, it’s the opposite! Everyone wants to beat you. “

– The press began to put pressure on the objectives not achieved.

“You hear the same questions every day in every interview: ‘When are you going to win your first Grand Slam?’ And I was like, ‘Do you think I don’t want to win a Grand Slam?’ It was there that I began to struggle with this; it’s something that really bothered me and it was very painful because it’s something I really wanted to win. “

– And the pressure turned into stress fractures.

“Those backache was like someone had stabbed you in the back with a knife. The pain was so deep in my mind, I just didn’t want to feel this pain again. I had enough of that pain already and I think I could get away from it. all the pressure I had. “

– Already retired, she wants to use her experience so that her players don’t go through the same thing.

“From the experiences I went through I don’t want the players I coach to feel that way. I want them to understand that tennis can offer you a beautiful life. It is a beautiful sport. Tennis is not a fight. I want to teach players not to commit same mistakes that I’ve made. “