Although personal texts by players recounting experiences within the professional circuit are becoming more common, the sensation of reading cards such as Alexandra Krunic is that from the outside we will never be able to understand what it really feels like to live together in that wardrobe. The blog Behind the racquet) has done so again, providing a golden opportunity for Serbia to explain how difficult it is to acclimatize to an uncomfortable environment that does not allow you to express yourself as you are. A kind of theater play in which not everyone fits. At 27 years old and at a very sweet moment in her career, the world number 57 has decided to leave tennis and we still do not know if she will return to competition. So she tells it.

“As a child I was used to earning more than losing. Everyone around me believed that winning was the norm, something I shouldn’t even celebrate, but everything changes when you start growing and you need time to get used to the new level of tennis. I took my time to reach the top100, I struggled a lot, I had a career with several ups and downs in terms of ranking, but fortunately I came to be among the top one hundred in the last two years. However, once i got to the wta level i lost my purpose. The money, the managers and everything else made me lose focus. ”

“Within all this it is important not to get lost, to be faithful to your essence. We all have different and interesting personalities, but it is getting harder to express them on tour. You have the feeling that nobody really cares who you are, they only care about what you can do for them. It has been a continuous struggle for me to get used to that environment while remaining faithful to my beliefs and values. I understand that we are all opponents on the court, but outside the court there is much more room to help each other and be empathetic, even if it doesn’t happen later. Most of us have teams around us, but those are the people we pay for and have interest at the end of each day. I was lucky to work with wonderful people who had a much bigger purpose than making money and feeding their ego, but I must admit that at the time it was a strange experience. ”

“Being on tour for ten months a year is crazy, especially when we’re supposed to be surrounded by enemies all the time. For most people – not for all – we are a mere project, it is difficult to separate this aspect from any other. For these reasons I decided to take a break from tennis since last March, although days later we were all forced to stop ”.

“Basically, what I’ve done is spend time alone with myself, without listening to other opinions. I wanted to get rid of all the garbage that was congestion on my way and learn positive things about me, something that no one ever taught me. I am learning to find my own place in tennis, my own ambitions and expectations, without being influenced by anyone. So I felt the need to go back and start emptying all this garbage. My ultimate goal is to judge myself for who I am as a person, not the games I win. Find who I really am and agree with what I find. “